Cheney Calls for International Ban on Torture Reports
FOOD FOR THOUGHT, 15 Dec 2014
Andy Borowitz – The New Yorker
Credit PHOTOGRAPH BY MARK WILSON/GETTY
Former Vice-President Dick Cheney on Tuesday [9 Dec 2014] called upon the nations of the world to “once and for all ban the despicable and heinous practice of publishing torture reports.”
“Like many Americans, I was shocked and disgusted by the Senate Intelligence Committee’s publication of a torture report today,” Cheney said in a prepared statement. “The transparency and honesty found in this report represent a gross violation of our nation’s values.”
“The publication of torture reports is a crime against all of us,” he added. “Not just those of us who have tortured in the past, but every one of us who might want to torture in the future.”
Saying that the Senate’s “horrifying publication” had inspired him to act, he vowed, “As long as I have air to breathe, I will do everything in my power to wipe out the scourge of torture reports from the face of the Earth.”
Cheney concluded his statement by calling for an international conference on the issue of torture reports. “I ask all the great nations of the world to stand up, expose the horrible practice of publishing torture reports, and say, ‘This is not who we are,’ ” Cheney said.
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Andy Borowitz is a New York Times best-selling author and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
Go to Original – newyorker.com
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1. (i) What is necessary for the world now is international ban on torture, not on torture reports. (ii) What is necessary for the world now is international ban on “international ban on torture reports”.
2. During his media interviews, Dick Cheney discussed legitimacy of torture. If torture is legitimate, why its report should be banned?
3. Dick Cheney calls for international ban on torture reports. Cruel dictators in the world may agree with Cheney. Imagine as follows: If Americans were tortured in DPRK (North Korea), and if Kim Jong-un agreed with Dick Cheney’s calls for international ban on torture reports, what would Cheney respond to Kim Jon-un/DPRK?