Entire Kennedy Family Changes Last Name
JOKE OF THE WEEK, 2 Sep 2024
The Borowitz Report – TRANSCEND Media Service
Tom Brenner for The Washington Post via Getty Images
26 Aug 2024 – Declaring that “enough is enough,” the entire Kennedy family is changing its last name, a spokesman for the former Kennedys announced today.
“It is with deep regret that we have chosen to no longer be known as ‘The Kennedys,’” the spokesman, formerly known as Harland Fitzgerald Kennedy, said. “Additionally, thousands of Kennedys around the world who are unrelated to us have made the same decision.”
Explaining the impetus behind the switch, the spokesman said, “We could overlook the brain-worm and the dead bear, but this was the last straw.”
He said that the ex-Kennedys had not yet selected a new last name, but added, “At this point, even Lecter would be better.”
____________________________________________
Andy Borowitz is a New York Times best-selling author and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. In 2001, he created the Borowitz Report, a satirical news column that has millions of readers around the world, for which he won the first-ever National Press Club award for humor. The Borowitz Report was acquired by The New Yorker in 2012.
Go to Original – borowitzreport.com
Tags: Elections, Joke, Politics, Robert F. Kennedy Jr, Trump, USA
DISCLAIMER: The statements, views and opinions expressed in pieces republished here are solely those of the authors and do not necessarily represent those of TMS. In accordance with title 17 U.S.C. section 107, this material is distributed without profit to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes. TMS has no affiliation whatsoever with the originator of this article nor is TMS endorsed or sponsored by the originator. “GO TO ORIGINAL” links are provided as a convenience to our readers and allow for verification of authenticity. However, as originating pages are often updated by their originating host sites, the versions posted may not match the versions our readers view when clicking the “GO TO ORIGINAL” links. This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, etc. We believe this constitutes a ‘fair use’ of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without profit to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes. For more information go to: http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/17/107.shtml. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond ‘fair use’, you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.
Join the discussion!
We welcome debate and dissent, but personal — ad hominem — attacks (on authors, other users or any individual), abuse and defamatory language will not be tolerated. Nor will we tolerate attempts to deliberately disrupt discussions. We aim to maintain an inviting space to focus on intelligent interactions and debates.