REVEALING SIGNS

COMMENTARY ARCHIVES, 22 Jun 2009

Dietrich Fischer

The following are actual signs seen in various places:

– In a New York restaurant:  "Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager."  

– At a Santa Fé gas station:  "We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container."  

– In the window of a long-established New Mexico dry cleaners:  "38 years on the same spot."  

– In a Los Angeles dance hall:  "Good clean dancing every night but Sunday."  

– In a Florida maternity ward:  "No children allowed."  

– In a New York drugstore:  "We dispense with accuracy."  

– In the offices of a loan company:  "Ask about our plans for owning your home."  

– In a New York medical building:  "Mental Health Prevention Center"  

– On a Maine shop:  "Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and workmanship."  

– At a number of military bases:  "Restricted to unauthorized personnel."  

– On a display of "I love you only" Valentine cards: "Now available in multi-packs."  

– In the window of a Kentucky appliance store:  "Don’t kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work."  

– In a funeral parlor: "Ask about our layaway plan.”

This article originally appeared on Transcend Media Service (TMS) on 22 Jun 2009.

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