Articles by Dietrich Fischer
We found 498 results.
The Salary Theory…
Dietrich Fischer – TRANSCEND Media Service,
28 Feb 2011
Dilbert’s “Salary Theorem” states that “Engineers and scientists can never earn as much as business executives and sales people.”
→ read full articleSchooling
Dietrich Fischer – TRANSCEND Media Service,
21 Feb 2011
A young cowboy from Wyoming went off to college, but half way through the semester, he had foolishly squandered all his money. He called home. “Dad,” he said, “You won’t believe what modern education is developing! They actually have a program here that will teach our dog, Ol’ Blue how to talk!”
→ read full articleDrunks
Dietrich Fischer – TRANSCEND Media Service,
14 Feb 2011
Recently, a routine police patrol was parked outside a local neighborhood bar in Minnesota. Late in the evening, the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk.
→ read full articleAge Is Not the Problem
Dietrich Fischer – TRANSCEND Media Service,
7 Feb 2011
A fifty year old man went for his annual health check-up to the doctor.
→ read full articleAnalogy
Dietrich Fischer – TRANSCEND Media Service,
31 Jan 2011
The following analogy characterizes a typical Congress member’s attitude about the looming energy crisis: A young man decided that he wanted to become a switching specialist with a railroad.
→ read full articleUnfaithfulness
Dietrich Fischer – TRANSCEND Media Service,
24 Jan 2011
Morris returns from a long business trip and finds out that his wife has been unfaithful during his time away. Who was it!?” he yells.
→ read full articleSpicy…
Dietrich Fischer – TRANSCEND Media Service,
17 Jan 2011
The women in a town decided that their men gave them too little pocket money. To remedy the situation, they opened a bordello.
→ read full articleDirty Politicians
Dietrich Fischer – TRANSCEND Media Service,
10 Jan 2011
A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal.
→ read full articleClever
Dietrich Fischer – TRANSCEND Media Service,
3 Jan 2011
President Bush was informed that there was a threat of a bird flu epidemic.
→ read full articleAge Matters
Dietrich Fischer – TRANSCEND Media Service,
27 Dec 2010
A 70-year old man told his friend, “I met a fabulous 20-year old girl, I am madly in love with her.
→ read full articleFatherhood
Dietrich Fischer – TRANSCEND Media Service,
20 Dec 2010
A girl used to tell everyone, “I am the daughter of Dr. Smith.”
→ read full articleWhatever…
Dietrich Fischer – TRANSCEND Media Service,
13 Dec 2010
A father told his young son, “You have gotten a little sister.”
→ read full articleThree more…
Dietrich Fischer – TRANSCEND Media Service,
6 Dec 2010
There is a saying, “no news is good news,”
→ read full articleFairness
Dietrich Fischer – TRANSCEND Media Service,
29 Nov 2010
Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the opposing lawyers. “So,” he said, “I have been presented, by both of you, with a bribe.”
→ read full articleMusicians
Dietrich Fischer – TRANSCEND Media Service,
22 Nov 2010
Ben Zanders, the conductor of the Boston Philharmonic, led an audience of 1000 at a conference where he spoke, to sing “happy birthday to you” for one of the participants.
→ read full articleJokes to Be Taken Seriously
Dietrich Fischer – TRANSCEND Media Service,
15 Nov 2010
Learn from the mistakes of others…
→ read full articleOn Luck
Dietrich Fischer – TRANSCEND Media Service,
1 Nov 2010
A little girl lived in a small hut in the forest, with a leaking roof that let the rain through, and thin walls where the wind and snow blew through.
→ read full articleJohan Galtung Is Awarded the Korean Peace Prize
Prof. Dietrich Fischer, Nov 1 2010 – TRANSCEND Media Service,
1 Nov 2010
Johan Galtung, born in Oslo, Norway, on 24 October 1930 has been awarded the Korean DMZ Peace Prize for 2010, “for his long-lasting work for world peace and Korean reunification”, as the selection committee stated.
→ read full articleScots
Dietrich Fischer – TRANSCEND Media Service,
25 Oct 2010
A Scottish daughter proudly announced to her father, “Today I saved two dollars, I ran after the street car.”
→ read full articleAmong Salesmen
Dietrich Fischer – TRANSCEND Media Service,
18 Oct 2010
A farmer had been ripped off several times by the local car dealer. One day, the car dealer informed the farmer that he was coming over to purchase a cow.
→ read full articleShort Ones
Dietrich Fischer – TRANSCEND Media Service,
11 Oct 2010
“I love farm work…
→ read full articleForecasting the Weather
Dietrich Fischer – TRANSCEND Media Service,
4 Oct 2010
It was autumn, and the Indians on a remote reservation asked their new Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild.
→ read full articleA Real Test
Dietrich Fischer – TRANSCEND Media Service,
27 Sep 2010
Two students went drinking late into the night before an exam.
→ read full articlePerspectives
Dietrich Fischer – TRANSCEND Media Service,
20 Sep 2010
When the United States Congress passed stricter laws about automobile air pollution, the Japanese car manufacturers…
→ read full articleMeanwhile in the Soviet Union…
Dietrich Fischer – TRANSCEND Media Service,
13 Sep 2010
Stalin claimed he was the greatest philosopher of all times.
→ read full articleNo Comment
Dietrich Fischer – TRANSCEND Media Service,
6 Sep 2010
A monk and a nun play ping-pong.
→ read full articleSounds Familiar
Dietrich Fischer – TRANSCEND Media Service,
30 Aug 2010
A little boy wanted $100 very badly, he prayed and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened.
→ read full articleAssembly Line
Dietrich Fischer – TRANSCEND Media Service,
23 Aug 2010
Two people went along a road with pick and shovel.
→ read full articleSymmetric
Dietrich Fischer – TRANSCEND Media Service,
16 Aug 2010
A husband and wife spent their vacation at a lake where he enjoyed fishing.
→ read full articleFrom Church Bulletins
Dietrich Fischer – TRANSCEND Media Service,
9 Aug 2010
“Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.
→ read full articleChildren
Dietrich Fischer – TRANSCEND Media Service,
2 Aug 2010
“Don’t worry if children don’t listen to you.
→ read full articleRepublican what?
Dietrich Fischer – TRANSCEND Media Service,
26 Jul 2010
A man went to a pawn shop in San Francisco and discovered a brass rat that intrigued him. He asked the store owner how much it cost. The owner said, “With the story 100 dollars, without the story 10 dollars.”
→ read full articleOn Shyness and Inteligence
Dietrich Fischer – TRANSCEND Media Service,
12 Jul 2010
The people of Minas Gerais in Brazil are said to love cheese. A man there met a ferry, and she promised to grant him three wishes.
→ read full articleViewpoint
Dietrich Fischer – TRANSCEND Media Service,
5 Jul 2010
During the German occupation of France, a German soldier entered Picasso’s studio
→ read full articleAmong Traitors
Dietrich Fischer – TRANSCEND Media Service,
28 Jun 2010
When relations between the Soviet Union and China soured in the early 1960s, Khrushchev met Chu En Lai and told him,
→ read full articleConflict Resolution
Dietrich Fischer – TRANSCEND Media Service,
14 Jun 2010
A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open mouthed kiss, then says she’ll see him later and walks away. The wife glares at her husband and says,
→ read full articleOh, God!
Dietrich Fischer – TRANSCEND Media Service,
7 Jun 2010
A very good-hearted young man came to the gates of heaven. He asked God, “Why have you brought me here so early?
→ read full articleManagers
Dietrich Fischer – TRANSCEND Media Service,
31 May 2010
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts:
→ read full articleSo Much for ‘Understanding’
Dietrich Fischer – TRANSCEND Media Service,
24 May 2010
The UN. conducted a worldwide survey asking “Would you please give your honest opinion about the solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?”
→ read full articleRacist Joke
Dietrich Fischer – TRANSCEND Media Service,
17 May 2010
A crowded lifeboat in the ocean got into a storm, the waves got higher and higher, and the boat was in danger of sinking.
→ read full articleJapanese
Dietrich Fischer - TRANSCEND Media Service,
10 May 2010
A Japanese airline stewardess told the passengers on landing…
→ read full articleStingy
Dietrich Fischer – TRANSCEND Media Service,
3 May 2010
A beggar walked up to a well‑dressed woman shopping on Fifth Avenue in New York and said,
→ read full articleBears vs. Hunters
Dietrich Fischer – TRANSCEND Media Service,
26 Apr 2010
Two Canadian hunters were surprised by a bear. They began to run away from him.
→ read full articleFrom Church Bulletins
Dietrich Fischer – TRANSCEND Media Service,
19 Apr 2010
“The outreach committee has visited every family that is not afflicted with a church.”
“Don’t let worry kill you–let the church help.”
→ read full articleINTERPRETER
Dietrich Fischer - TRANSCEND Media Service,
12 Apr 2010
To attend the meeting of the communist international, the Tanzanian delegate, the only communist in Tanzania, left six months early.
→ read full articleFORGETFULNESS
Dietrich Fischer - TRANSCEND Media Service,
5 Apr 2010
An elderly man went for his annual checkup to the doctor. After examining him, the doctor said, "I have two bad news for you. The first is that you have cancer." The patient asked, "And what is the second bad news?" The doctor said, "You have Alzheimer’s disease." The man said, "It could be worse, […]
→ read full articleMONKEY BUSINESS ALRIGHT
Dietrich Fischer - TRANSCEND Media Service,
22 Mar 2010
Once upon a time a man appeared in a village and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each. The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them. The man bought thousands at $10 and, as supply started to diminish, the villagers […]
→ read full articleCHILDREN
Dietrich Fischer,
15 Mar 2010
Scouts are supposed to do at least one good deed every day. A scout master asked three little scouts at camp in the evening, "What good deed did you do today?" The first boy replied, "I helped an old lady cross the street." "Excellent," the scout master said. "And what did you do?’ he […]
→ read full articleSHARING
Dietrich Fischer,
8 Mar 2010
A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say ‘Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.’" Kevin turned to […]
→ read full articleEINSTEIN
Dietrich Fischer,
1 Mar 2010
Albert Einstein and some friends visited Niels Bohr in Copenhagen. They saw a horseshoe hanging on his door and teased him, "Are you superstitious? Do you really believe that this brings you good luck?" "Of course not," he teased back, "but I have heard that it even helps people who don’t believe in it." […]
→ read full articleEFFICIENCY
Dietrich Fischer,
23 Feb 2010
During the French revolution, a doctor, a lawyer and an engineer were sentenced to be beheaded by the guillotine. The executioner asked the doctor, "Do you want to lie down face up or face down?" "Face up," he said. "Blindfold or no blindfold?" the executioner asked. "No blindfold," the doctor said. He lay down […]
→ read full articleTWO GOOD ONES
Dietrich Fischer,
16 Feb 2010
Bumper Sticker of the Year: Be Nice to America or We’ll Bring Democracy to Your Country A mental patient believed he was a mouse. His psychiatrist patiently explained to him that he was a human being, not a mouse. Finally he believed it, and the psychiatrist told him, "You are now cured, you can go […]
→ read full articleCHOOSING A FUTURE
Dietrich Fischer,
9 Feb 2010
An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young men, the boy didn’t really know what he wanted to do, and he didn’t seem too concerned about it. One day, while the boy was away at school, his […]
→ read full articleDOGS
Dietrich Fischer,
7 Feb 2010
Inspector Cluzeau stood at the door of a house with a lady and a dog. He asked the lady, "Does your dog bite?" She said no. He entered, and the dog bit him. He told the lady, "But you said your dog does not bite!" She replied, "This is not MY dog." ************** […]
→ read full articleBY THE WAY…
Dietrich Fischer,
28 Jan 2010
When President Nixon proposed voluntary restraints on wage and price increases to fight inflation, John Kenneth Galbraith mocked, "I hope the next step will be voluntary taxes. I will be the first not to pay them." John Kenneth Galbraith called Reaganomics "horse and sparrow economics": If you feed enough oats to the horses, some of […]
→ read full articleTHE OTHER HALF
Dietrich Fischer,
18 Jan 2010
A married couple enjoyed their new fishing boat together, but it was always the husband who was behind the wheel operating the boat. He was concerned about what might happen in an emergency. So one day out on the lake he said to his wife, "Please take the wheel, dear. Pretend that I am having […]
→ read full articleWRONG ANSWER
Dietrich Fischer,
11 Jan 2010
Little Billy returns home from school and says he got an F in arithmetic. Why?" asks the father." The teacher asked, ‘How much is two times three?’ I said six," replied Billy. "But that’s right!" says his dad. Yeah, but then she asked me, ‘How much is three times two?’" "What’s the bloody difference?" asks […]
→ read full articleLOGIC
Dietrich Fischer,
3 Jan 2010
A boy from a village went to study at the university in the nearest town. One day he returned home, and one of his childhood friends asked him, "What are you studying?" He said, "I am studying logic." His friend asked, "Logic, what’s that?" He said, "I will explain it to you. Do you […]
→ read full articleCOVERUP
Dietrich Fischer,
31 Dec 2009
A man comes home and finds his dog with the neighbor’s pet rabbit in his mouth. It is dead. He is shocked and is afraid that the neighbors will hate him forever. So he takes the dirty, chewed up rabbit into the house, gives it a bath, blow dries its fur and puts the […]
→ read full articleODDS
Dietrich Fischer,
22 Dec 2009
A patient did not feel well and went to see his doctor. The doctor examined him and said, "I have some bad news and some good news. The bad news is that you have a problem that requires immediate surgery. It is a serious operation from which two out of three people die. "But […]
→ read full articleCOURTROOM
Dietrich Fischer,
14 Dec 2009
A man caught in embezzlement asked his lawyer, "Would it help my case if I sent the judge a box of cigars?" The lawyer warned, "Don’t do that! This judge is absolutely incorruptible, it could only hurt our cause." The day the case came to court, the judge ruled in favor of the defendant, to […]
→ read full articleLUCKY/UNLUCKY
Dietrich Fischer,
7 Dec 2009
A lucky housewife has a Swiss banker, a French cook, an English gardener and an Italian lover. An unlucky housewife has an Italian banker, an English cook, a French gardener and a Swiss lover. A lucky diplomat has an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English country house, and a Japanese wife. An unlucky diplomat […]
→ read full articleON VIRGINITY
Dietrich Fischer,
30 Nov 2009
A young woman had been married three times, but was still a virgin. The first husband had a heart attack as they stepped out of the church after the wedding. The second husband turned out to be a homosexual. And the third husband was a computer programmer who had a terminal in the […]
→ read full articleTITLES
Dietrich Fischer,
23 Nov 2009
Someone who farms is a farmer. Someone who writes is a writer. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
→ read full articleEXPLANATIONS TO THE BLIND
Dietrich Fischer,
18 Nov 2009
Someone asked Albert Einstein at a party: "Oh, you are Albert Einstein, could you please explain me your relativity theory in three or four sentences?" Einstein thought for a while, then he said, "I am very sorry, it is not really possible to explain relativity theory so quickly, but I will at least try to […]
→ read full articleCHURCH ANNOUNCEMENTS
Dietrich Fischer,
9 Nov 2009
"The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals." "We are taking up a collection to defray the cost of the new carpet in the sanctuary. All those wishing to do something on the carpet please come forward and get a piece of paper." "There will be a picnic in the […]
→ read full articlePEACE STUDIES AT THE UNIVERSITY LEVEL
Dietrich Fischer,
8 Nov 2009
There is an enormous need in the world for people with skills in nonviolent and creative conflict transformation and work for peace in general. By solving conflicts in peaceful ways, creative energy can be released at the personal, social and world levels and material and nonmaterial destruction avoided. Peace studies, like medicine, are clearly […]
→ read full articleMISTAKES
Dietrich Fischer,
28 Oct 2009
A biology teacher wanted to warn his students about the harmful effects of alcohol. He put a worm into a glass of water, and another into a glass of whiskey. The one in water swam happily around, while the one in whisky curled up and sank dead to the bottom of the glass. "What do […]
→ read full articleWEATHER FORECASTERS
Dietrich Fischer,
20 Oct 2009
A tribe of American Indians on a reservation heard on their radio that there would be a cold winter. So they stacked up plenty of firewood. The next week, they heard the weatherman announce that there would be a severely cold winter. So they stacked up more firewood. A week later, the weatherman forecast that […]
→ read full articlePSYCHIATRISTS
Dietrich Fischer,
12 Oct 2009
A psychiatrist needed a plumber. He fixed the leak within 20 minutes and charged $200. The psychiatrist complained, "I used to be able to charge $200 an hour, but now with managed care, I can get no more than $100 an hour. How can you charge $200 for 20 minutes?" The plumber replied, "When […]
→ read full articleON BEING NOSY
Dietrich Fischer,
5 Oct 2009
A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following: "Emma come first. Den I come. Den! two asses come together. I come […]
→ read full articleEXPERTISE
Dietrich Fischer,
28 Sep 2009
A foreign tourist’s car got stuck in a small Russian village. The driver found a local engineer who looked at the motor, turned one screw, and the car worked again. He charged $100 for the repair. The tourist found this excessive and demanded an itemized bill. It said, "Turning a screw, 50 cents. Known where, […]
→ read full articleFORGETFULNESS
Dietrich Fischer,
14 Sep 2009
An old man sat on a park bench crying. A young man walked by and asked him why he was crying. The old man said, "I’m retired, with a fat pension, I have a big luxury apartment and a beautiful young wife who loves me." The young man asked, "Then why the hell are you […]
→ read full articleAn Inspiring Message for the Future of Peace on Earth
Dietrich Fischer,
10 Sep 2009
Prof. Dr. Dietrich Fischer, Academic Director of the World Peace Academy, and Assistant Francesco Marelli
→ read full articleQUESTIONS
Dietrich Fischer,
10 Sep 2009
Someone calls an airline and asks, "Can you tell me how long it’ll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?" The agent replies, "Just a minute…" "Thank you," he says, and hangs up. *************** My sister’s expecting a baby, and I don’t know if I’m going to be an uncle or an […]
→ read full articleLIFE MANAGEMENT
Dietrich Fischer,
4 Aug 2009
A professor of management gave a lecture on time management. He filled a mason jar with a dozen fist-sized rocks, until no more would fit. He asked his students, "Is this jar full?" and all shouted "Yes!" Then he took some gravel from under the desk to fill the empty spaces and asked again, […]
→ read full articleENVIRONMENT
Dietrich Fischer,
27 Jul 2009
Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
→ read full articleTRUTHFUL
Dietrich Fischer,
20 Jul 2009
An applicant was filling out a job application. When he came to the question, ‘Have you ever been arrested?’ he wrote, "No." The next question, intended for people who had answered in the affirmative to the previous question, was "Why?" The applicant answered it anyway: "Never got caught."
→ read full articleINFECTION
Dietrich Fischer,
13 Jul 2009
After an interval of four million years, two planets meet again in the universe. One asks the other, "How are you doing?" "Just fine, thank you. And you?" "I feel quite miserable." "What’s wrong?" "I have homo sapiens." "Don’t worry, that will pass."
→ read full articleNARRATIVE AND NATIONALISM
Dietrich Fischer,
6 Jul 2009
A man is taking a walk in Central park in New York. Suddenly he sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull dog. He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl’s life. A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and […]
→ read full articleWHICH DIRECTION?
Dietrich Fischer,
2 Jul 2009
After a summit meeting, Reagan, Brezhnev and Deng Xiaoping were being driven to the airport in a limousine. The driver arrived at an intersection and asked which way to go. Reagan said, "Turn right." Brezhnev said, "Turn left." Deng said, "Signal left and turn right."
→ read full articleREVEALING SIGNS
Dietrich Fischer,
22 Jun 2009
The following are actual signs seen in various places: – In a New York restaurant: "Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager." – At a Santa Fé gas station: "We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container." – In the window of a long-established New Mexico dry […]
→ read full articleDRINKING MICE
Dietrich Fischer,
15 Jun 2009
Three mice were drinking. The first said, "Let’s drink a glass and sing." The second said, "No, let’s drink two glasses and dance." The third said, "No, let’s drink three glasses and go beat up the cat!" ********************* A mouse fell into a jar of wine. She cried for help. The cat came and saw […]
→ read full articleDISARMAMENT
Dietrich Fischer,
9 Jun 2009
Honoré Daumier drew a cartoon of a disarmament conference. A group of generals and presidents stood in front of a door called disarmament, and complimented one another, "You go first." ********** In Geneva, business negotiators rent a hotel room. UN functionaries rent an apartment. And disarmament negotiators buy a house. ********** When someone argued, "We […]
→ read full articlePRAYER
Dietrich Fischer,
1 Jun 2009
A reverend came to heaven and said to St. Peter, "I have preached every Sunday and helped many people in my community, may I come into heaven?" St. Peter said, "Sure, please sit on this bench here and wait until your name will be called." Then a young man in blue jeans arrived […]
→ read full articleSTUPIDITY
Dietrich Fischer,
31 May 2009
Sweden has built a new bridge to an island. A driver is stopped by the police and told, "Your car is the ten-thousandth to cross this bridge, and we wish to give you an award. Can you tell me how you plan to use it?" "First of all I will take some driving lessons […]
→ read full articleJOKES TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY
Dietrich Fischer,
19 May 2009
“Education is what remains after you have forgotten everything you learnt.” "If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog."— Harry Truman "Anger has always a reason, but seldom a good one." — Benjamin Franklin "Those who can give up essential liberty for a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." — Benjamin […]
→ read full articleCOMPARATIVE ANALYSIS
Dietrich Fischer,
13 May 2009
Science is hard. It is like looking for a black cat in a dark room. Philosophy is harder. It is like looking in a dark room for a black cat that is not there. And dialectics is like looking in a dark room for a black cat that is not there but is constantly crying, […]
→ read full articleMUSICIANS
Dietrich Fischer,
12 May 2009
A little boy rang the neighbor’s bell. "Does it disturb you that I practice the piano every day?" "To be frank," the neighbor replied, "it really disturbs us a lot." The boy said, "Then could you please be so kind and complain to my mother?"
→ read full articleGOD AND THE WORLD
Dietrich Fischer,
29 Apr 2009
God was disgusted with the mess in the world that people had created. He decided to end the experiment in three days, and summoned Bill Clinton, Boris Yeltsin and Bill Gates in front of him to tell them that he would destroy the world, and they should please announce it to their people. Clinton went […]
→ read full articleLESSON ON POLITICS
Dietrich Fischer,
22 Apr 2009
A teacher gave her fourth graders a lesson about politics. Johnny raised his hand and said, "I don’t understand all that." "Go home and ask your father," she said, "he is a politician, he will explain it to you." When Johnny came home, he found his father sitting on his armchair, reading the paper. "Father," […]
→ read full articleSTUDENTS
Dietrich Fischer,
13 Apr 2009
From actual students’ science papers: "Algebraical symbols are used when you don’t know what you are talking about." "Humans are more intelligent than beasts because the human brain has more convulsions." "The earth makes one resolution every 24 hours." "A triangle with an angle of 135 degrees is called an obscene […]
→ read full articleLAWYERS
Dietrich Fischer,
31 Mar 2009
A lawyer entered a butcher store with his dog. The dog stole a sausage and ran away. The butcher asked the lawyer, "Now who is going to pay for this sausage?" "That will be my responsibility, of course," said the lawyer. The butcher said, "Alright, that is what I thought, that will be three dollars." […]
→ read full articleHEAVEN AND HELL
Dietrich Fischer,
25 Mar 2009
In heaven the cooks are French, the policemen English, the mechanics German, the Swiss run the trains and the Italians are lovers. In hell the cooks are English, the policemen German, the mechanics French, the Italians run the trains and the Swiss are lovers.
→ read full articleALBERT EINSTEIN
Dietrich Fischer,
16 Mar 2009
Albert Einstein compared the disarmament negotiations sponsored by the League of Nations with a discussion in a town council that, after a series of fatal stabbings, deliberates how long and how sharp the knives ought to be that people are allowed to carry when they go out. Someone asked Einstein, "With what weapons […]
→ read full articleACCURATE DESCRIPTION
Dietrich Fischer,
15 Mar 2009
The organizer of a conference introduced the keynote speaker and read a long list of his degrees and achievements, when the speaker whispered in his ear, "Please don’t forget to mention my great humility."
→ read full articleThe Oldest Profession
Dietrich Fischer,
6 Mar 2009
A surgeon, an engineer and an economist were arguing which was the oldest profession. The surgeon said, "On the seventh day of creation, God removed a rib from Adam’s body to create Eve. This is obviously surgery, so my profession is the oldest." The engineer argued, "But on the first day of creation, God built […]
→ read full articleProf. Dietrich Fischer on the Philosophy of Peace & Conflict Studies
Dietrich Fischer,
5 Mar 2009
World Peace Academy, Basel-Switzerland – A TMS interview. Dietrich Fischer (1941-2015) from Münsingen, Switzerland, got a Licentiate in Mathematics from the University of Bern 1968 and his Ph.D. in Computer Science from New York University 1976. 1986-88 he was a MacArthur Fellow in International Peace and Security at Princeton University. He has taught mathematics, computer […]
→ read full article